Sign of the Cross

One of my girlfriends dreams in Christian symbolism:


I was drunk, which is actually quite fitting because I was actually drunk when I went to sleep. I woke up in my apartment, stumbled (blurry eyed and with a pounding headache) to the bathroom mirror only to discover that I had tattooed a Latin cross (yes, a cross!) on my forehead. It was very Ash Wednesday, except that it was slightly to the right of center, which was handy because my short bangs could just cover it. This wasn't good enough! I tried my hardest to rub it off and (miraculously!) some of it did create a blackish smudge across my forehead. But I was really considering calling my parents, begging for money, explaining that I wasn't actually having an existential crisis, getting that shit removed… when I woke up, ran to the bathroom, looked in the mirror and sighed in relief.

Agency Work Is No Fun

A friend's recent dream:

I was working for the fictional Miller Gold talent agency run by Ari Gold in Entourage. Ari never paid attention to me and always treated me like I didn't exist. Then, one day, he was standing around and began eavesdropping on a conversation I was having with a co-worker. He thought I was funny and started speaking to me, completely ignoring the other person. I was really pissed off because I thought Ari was a piece of shit, and I had no interest in hearing what he had to say. However, he immediately took a liking to me and started parading me around, introducing me to people. Every time we walked into someone's office he'd say, "Hey, check out what Rolo here just said." Yes, he was referring to me as Rolo, the caramel-filled chocolate candy. Whenever someone would hear is new nickname for me, he/she would give me a look that said, "Holy shit, that sucks." I really didn't want to be associated with Ari because, like me, everyone else hated him and only tolerated him because he owned the company, and I didn't want to be known as his friend. However, I remember thinking that I could use this newfound relationship to my advantage and get a pretty awesome promotion just by pretending to like him...and it's LA, so isn't that what everyone does anyway?